Starbucks Coffee Pun Movie Titles

Dear Starbucks,

Don’t hire this guy. While his movie titles are pretty good, the approach is completely unscalable. Plus, his $500,000 fee is ridiculous.

A better approach is to write software that generates these titles (which is exactly what I’ve done). Here’s a taste:

  • Charlie’s Angels: Full Froth (Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle)
  • Creamer: Inspired by a True Story (Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story)
  • Final Fantasy: The Spirits With Milk (Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within)
  • Lara Croft: Tomb Cider (Lara Croft: Tomb Raider)
  • Legally Blended 2: Brewed, White Tea and Blended (Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde)
  • Master and Commander: The Far Cider of the World (Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World)
  • Misto Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous (Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous)
  • Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Tea Pearl (Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl)
  • Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Creams (Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams)
  • Team Americano: World Police (Team America: World Police)
  • Terminator 3: Rise of the Macchiatos (Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines)
  • The Nutty Espresso II: The Klumps (The Nutty Professor II: The Klumps)
  • 28 Days Latte (28 Days Later)
  • 8 Milk (8 Mile)
  • A Beautiful Mint (A Beautiful Mind)
  • A Misto of Violence (A History of Violence)
  • A Knight’s Tall (A Knight’s Tale)
  • A Pike Place in the Sun (A Place in the Sun)
  • A Walk to Crema (A Walk to Remember)
  • Tall About Eve (All About Eve)
  • Tall Quiet on the Western Front (All Quiet on the Western Front)
  • Tall the President’s Men (All the President’s Men)
  • Along Caramel a Cider (Along Came a Spider)
  • Along Caramel Polly (Along Came Polly)
  • Caramel (Amelie)
  • Americano Sweethearts (America’s Sweethearts)
  • Americano Beauty (American Beauty)
  • Americano Graffiti (American Graffiti)
  • Americano Misto X (American History X)
  • Americano Pie 2 (American Pie 2)
  • Americano Wedding (American Wedding)
  • An Americano in Paris (An American in Paris)
  • Annie Tall (Annie Hall)
  • Arsenic and Old Pike Place (Arsenic and Old Lace)
  • Black Tea Hawk Down (Black Hawk Down)
  • Froth Bear (Brother Bear)
  • Chocolate (Chocolat)
  • Cider de Deus (Cidade de Deus)
  • Cold Milk Mountain (Cold Mountain)
  • Chocolate Damage (Collateral Damage)
  • Darkness Tall (Darkness Falls)
  • Das Leben Cider Grande (Das Leben der Anderen)
  • Cider Untergang (Der Untergang)
  • Diary of a Mad Black Tea Woman (Diary of a Mad Black Woman)
  • Double Tazo Awake (Double Take)
  • Easy Cider (Easy Rider)
  • Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mint (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)
  • Froth Hell (From Hell)
  • Froth Here to Eternity (From Here to Eternity)
  • Full Mocha Jacket (Full Metal Jacket)
  • Scone in 60 Seconds (Gone in 60 Seconds)
  • Scone with the Wind (Gone with the Wind)
  • Grande Torino (Gran Torino)
  • Cider and Seek (Hide and Seek)
  • Hot Tea Rwanda (Hotel Rwanda)
  • Venti (Identity)
  • Latte and Leopold (Kate and Leopold)
  • Kicking and Creaming (Kicking and Screaming)
  • Legally Blended Mocha (Legally Blonde)
  • Lemonade Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Ventis (Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events)
  • Little Misto Sunshine (Little Miss Sunshine)
  • Men in Black Tea II (Men in Black II)
  • Misto Congeniality (Miss Congeniality)
  • Mocha Lisa Smile (Mona Lisa Smile)
  • Monster’s Tall (Monster’s Ball)
  • My Big Fat Green Tea Wedding (My Big Fat Greek Wedding)
  • Not Another Tea Movie (Not Another Teen Movie)
  • Once Upon a Time in Americano (Once Upon a Time in America)
  • Scone Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest)
  • Scone Hour Photo (One Hour Photo)
  • Ciders of the Lost Ark (Raiders of the Lost Ark)
  • Cream Window (Rear Window)
  • Red Tea Dragon (Red Dragon)
  • Requiem for a Cream (Requiem for a Dream)
  • Schindler’s Misto (Schindler’s List)
  • Cream 3 (Scream 3)
  • Snow White Tea and the Seven Dwarfs (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs)
  • Some Like It Hot Tea (Some Like It Hot)
  • Cider-Man (Spider-Man)
  • Cider-Man 2 (Spider-Man 2)
  • Tea of the Sun (Tears of the Sun)
  • The Americano Queen (The African Queen)
  • The Bourne Venti (The Bourne Identity)
  • The Count of Monte Misto (The Count of Monte Cristo)
  • The Cider Hunter (The Deer Hunter)
  • The Green Tea Mile (The Green Mile)
  • The Jazz Gingerbread (The Jazz Singer)
  • The Scone (The One)
  • The Tazo Passion of the Christ (The Passion of the Christ)
  • The Polar Espresso (The Polar Express)
  • The Cookie (The Rookie)
  • The Scone King (The Scorpion King)
  • The Sum of Tall Fears (The Sum of All Fears)
  • The Texas Chai Massacre (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre)
  • The Time Macchiato (The Time Machine)
  • The Wedding Latte (The Wedding Date)
  • Undercover Froth (Undercover Brother)
  • Vanilla Bean Sky (Vanilla Sky)
  • TALL·E (WALL·E)
  • West Cider Story (West Side Story)
  • White Mocha Chicks (White Chicks)

Hire me instead. I’m only asking for $250,000.

Sincerely,
Jesse

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