Starbucks Coffee Pun Movie Titles

Dear Starbucks,

Don’t hire this guy. While his movie titles are pretty good, the approach is completely unscalable. Plus, his $500,000 fee is ridiculous.

A better approach is to write software that generates these titles (which is exactly what I’ve done). Here’s a taste:

• Charlie’s Angels: Full Froth (Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle)
• Creamer: Inspired by a True Story (Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story)
• Final Fantasy: The Spirits With Milk (Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within)
• Lara Croft: Tomb Cider (Lara Croft: Tomb Raider)
• Legally Blended 2: Brewed, White Tea and Blended (Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde)
• Master and Commander: The Far Cider of the World (Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World)
• Misto Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous (Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous)
• Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Tea Pearl (Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl)
• Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Creams (Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams)
• Team Americano: World Police (Team America: World Police)
• Terminator 3: Rise of the Macchiatos (Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines)
• The Nutty Espresso II: The Klumps (The Nutty Professor II: The Klumps)
• 28 Days Latte (28 Days Later)
• 8 Milk (8 Mile)
• A Beautiful Mint (A Beautiful Mind)
• A Misto of Violence (A History of Violence)
• A Knight’s Tall (A Knight’s Tale)
• A Pike Place in the Sun (A Place in the Sun)
• A Walk to Crema (A Walk to Remember)
• Tall About Eve (All About Eve)
• Tall Quiet on the Western Front (All Quiet on the Western Front)
• Tall the President’s Men (All the President’s Men)
• Along Caramel a Cider (Along Came a Spider)
• Along Caramel Polly (Along Came Polly)
• Caramel (Amelie)
• Americano Sweethearts (America’s Sweethearts)
• Americano Beauty (American Beauty)
• Americano Graffiti (American Graffiti)
• Americano Misto X (American History X)
• Americano Pie 2 (American Pie 2)
• Americano Wedding (American Wedding)
• An Americano in Paris (An American in Paris)
• Annie Tall (Annie Hall)
• Arsenic and Old Pike Place (Arsenic and Old Lace)
• Black Tea Hawk Down (Black Hawk Down)
• Froth Bear (Brother Bear)
• Chocolate (Chocolat)
• Cider de Deus (Cidade de Deus)
• Cold Milk Mountain (Cold Mountain)
• Chocolate Damage (Collateral Damage)
• Darkness Tall (Darkness Falls)
• Das Leben Cider Grande (Das Leben der Anderen)
• Cider Untergang (Der Untergang)
• Diary of a Mad Black Tea Woman (Diary of a Mad Black Woman)
• Double Tazo Awake (Double Take)
• Easy Cider (Easy Rider)
• Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mint (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)
• Froth Hell (From Hell)
• Froth Here to Eternity (From Here to Eternity)
• Full Mocha Jacket (Full Metal Jacket)
• Scone in 60 Seconds (Gone in 60 Seconds)
• Scone with the Wind (Gone with the Wind)
• Grande Torino (Gran Torino)
• Cider and Seek (Hide and Seek)
• Hot Tea Rwanda (Hotel Rwanda)
• Venti (Identity)
• Latte and Leopold (Kate and Leopold)
• Kicking and Creaming (Kicking and Screaming)
• Legally Blended Mocha (Legally Blonde)
• Lemonade Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Ventis (Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events)
• Little Misto Sunshine (Little Miss Sunshine)
• Men in Black Tea II (Men in Black II)
• Misto Congeniality (Miss Congeniality)
• Mocha Lisa Smile (Mona Lisa Smile)
• Monster’s Tall (Monster’s Ball)
• My Big Fat Green Tea Wedding (My Big Fat Greek Wedding)
• Not Another Tea Movie (Not Another Teen Movie)
• Once Upon a Time in Americano (Once Upon a Time in America)
• Scone Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest)
• Scone Hour Photo (One Hour Photo)
• Ciders of the Lost Ark (Raiders of the Lost Ark)
• Cream Window (Rear Window)
• Red Tea Dragon (Red Dragon)
• Requiem for a Cream (Requiem for a Dream)
• Schindler’s Misto (Schindler’s List)
• Cream 3 (Scream 3)
• Snow White Tea and the Seven Dwarfs (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs)
• Some Like It Hot Tea (Some Like It Hot)
• Cider-Man (Spider-Man)
• Cider-Man 2 (Spider-Man 2)
• Tea of the Sun (Tears of the Sun)
• The Americano Queen (The African Queen)
• The Bourne Venti (The Bourne Identity)
• The Count of Monte Misto (The Count of Monte Cristo)
• The Cider Hunter (The Deer Hunter)
• The Green Tea Mile (The Green Mile)
• The Jazz Gingerbread (The Jazz Singer)
• The Scone (The One)
• The Tazo Passion of the Christ (The Passion of the Christ)
• The Polar Espresso (The Polar Express)
• The Cookie (The Rookie)
• The Scone King (The Scorpion King)
• The Sum of Tall Fears (The Sum of All Fears)
• The Texas Chai Massacre (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre)
• The Time Macchiato (The Time Machine)
• The Wedding Latte (The Wedding Date)
• Undercover Froth (Undercover Brother)
• Vanilla Bean Sky (Vanilla Sky)
• TALL·E (WALL·E)
• West Cider Story (West Side Story)
• White Mocha Chicks (White Chicks)

Hire me instead. I’m only asking for $250,000.

Sincerely,
Jesse

Explore posts in the same categories: Coffee, Random