Archive for the ‘Coffee’ category

Starbucks Coffee Pun Movie Titles

November 17, 2009

Dear Starbucks,

Don’t hire this guy. While his movie titles are pretty good, the approach is completely unscalable. Plus, his $500,000 fee is ridiculous.

A better approach is to write software that generates these titles (which is exactly what I’ve done). Here’s a taste:

  • Charlie’s Angels: Full Froth (Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle)
  • Creamer: Inspired by a True Story (Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story)
  • Final Fantasy: The Spirits With Milk (Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within)
  • Lara Croft: Tomb Cider (Lara Croft: Tomb Raider)
  • Legally Blended 2: Brewed, White Tea and Blended (Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde)
  • Master and Commander: The Far Cider of the World (Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World)
  • Misto Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous (Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous)
  • Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Tea Pearl (Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl)
  • Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Creams (Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams)
  • Team Americano: World Police (Team America: World Police)
  • Terminator 3: Rise of the Macchiatos (Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines)
  • The Nutty Espresso II: The Klumps (The Nutty Professor II: The Klumps)
  • 28 Days Latte (28 Days Later)
  • 8 Milk (8 Mile)
  • A Beautiful Mint (A Beautiful Mind)
  • A Misto of Violence (A History of Violence)
  • A Knight’s Tall (A Knight’s Tale)
  • A Pike Place in the Sun (A Place in the Sun)
  • A Walk to Crema (A Walk to Remember)
  • Tall About Eve (All About Eve)
  • Tall Quiet on the Western Front (All Quiet on the Western Front)
  • Tall the President’s Men (All the President’s Men)
  • Along Caramel a Cider (Along Came a Spider)
  • Along Caramel Polly (Along Came Polly)
  • Caramel (Amelie)
  • Americano Sweethearts (America’s Sweethearts)
  • Americano Beauty (American Beauty)
  • Americano Graffiti (American Graffiti)
  • Americano Misto X (American History X)
  • Americano Pie 2 (American Pie 2)
  • Americano Wedding (American Wedding)
  • An Americano in Paris (An American in Paris)
  • Annie Tall (Annie Hall)
  • Arsenic and Old Pike Place (Arsenic and Old Lace)
  • Black Tea Hawk Down (Black Hawk Down)
  • Froth Bear (Brother Bear)
  • Chocolate (Chocolat)
  • Cider de Deus (Cidade de Deus)
  • Cold Milk Mountain (Cold Mountain)
  • Chocolate Damage (Collateral Damage)
  • Darkness Tall (Darkness Falls)
  • Das Leben Cider Grande (Das Leben der Anderen)
  • Cider Untergang (Der Untergang)
  • Diary of a Mad Black Tea Woman (Diary of a Mad Black Woman)
  • Double Tazo Awake (Double Take)
  • Easy Cider (Easy Rider)
  • Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mint (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)
  • Froth Hell (From Hell)
  • Froth Here to Eternity (From Here to Eternity)
  • Full Mocha Jacket (Full Metal Jacket)
  • Scone in 60 Seconds (Gone in 60 Seconds)
  • Scone with the Wind (Gone with the Wind)
  • Grande Torino (Gran Torino)
  • Cider and Seek (Hide and Seek)
  • Hot Tea Rwanda (Hotel Rwanda)
  • Venti (Identity)
  • Latte and Leopold (Kate and Leopold)
  • Kicking and Creaming (Kicking and Screaming)
  • Legally Blended Mocha (Legally Blonde)
  • Lemonade Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Ventis (Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events)
  • Little Misto Sunshine (Little Miss Sunshine)
  • Men in Black Tea II (Men in Black II)
  • Misto Congeniality (Miss Congeniality)
  • Mocha Lisa Smile (Mona Lisa Smile)
  • Monster’s Tall (Monster’s Ball)
  • My Big Fat Green Tea Wedding (My Big Fat Greek Wedding)
  • Not Another Tea Movie (Not Another Teen Movie)
  • Once Upon a Time in Americano (Once Upon a Time in America)
  • Scone Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest)
  • Scone Hour Photo (One Hour Photo)
  • Ciders of the Lost Ark (Raiders of the Lost Ark)
  • Cream Window (Rear Window)
  • Red Tea Dragon (Red Dragon)
  • Requiem for a Cream (Requiem for a Dream)
  • Schindler’s Misto (Schindler’s List)
  • Cream 3 (Scream 3)
  • Snow White Tea and the Seven Dwarfs (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs)
  • Some Like It Hot Tea (Some Like It Hot)
  • Cider-Man (Spider-Man)
  • Cider-Man 2 (Spider-Man 2)
  • Tea of the Sun (Tears of the Sun)
  • The Americano Queen (The African Queen)
  • The Bourne Venti (The Bourne Identity)
  • The Count of Monte Misto (The Count of Monte Cristo)
  • The Cider Hunter (The Deer Hunter)
  • The Green Tea Mile (The Green Mile)
  • The Jazz Gingerbread (The Jazz Singer)
  • The Scone (The One)
  • The Tazo Passion of the Christ (The Passion of the Christ)
  • The Polar Espresso (The Polar Express)
  • The Cookie (The Rookie)
  • The Scone King (The Scorpion King)
  • The Sum of Tall Fears (The Sum of All Fears)
  • The Texas Chai Massacre (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre)
  • The Time Macchiato (The Time Machine)
  • The Wedding Latte (The Wedding Date)
  • Undercover Froth (Undercover Brother)
  • Vanilla Bean Sky (Vanilla Sky)
  • TALL·E (WALL·E)
  • West Cider Story (West Side Story)
  • White Mocha Chicks (White Chicks)

Hire me instead. I’m only asking for $250,000.

Sincerely,
Jesse

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“We Are Happy To Serve You” Ceramic Cup – $9.95

March 7, 2007

we are happy to serve you ceramic cup

This famous Greek paper cup has been around for almost half a century and is used to serve hot coffee to millions of New Yorkers every year. Now you can show how much you heart NY with this New York inspired cup. Each cup measures 3.75″h x 3.25″w and holds 10 oz. of liquid. They are also manufactured from lead-free earthenware ceramic, and microwave and dishwasher safe.

Available at Perpetual Kid

Cup Couture Sleeve – $10

January 21, 2007

cup couture sleeve

Show the world how environmentally friendly you are by ditching those cardboard cup sleeves and using these Cup Couture Sleeves instead. Each sleeve is made from thermally insulated fabric that protects your delicate hands. They are reusuable and easy to wash. Each sleeve fits most 12, 16, and 20 oz. beverage cups.

Save the planet at wishingtree

Dunkin’ Donuts Coffee Subscription – $6.39

January 15, 2007

dunkin donuts

After years of resistance to the temptations of caffeine, I’ve finally given in and started to drink coffee on a daily basis. The jolt of energy every morning is great, but the cost can really add up. So today’s post features Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, which is probably the best brew out there for the price you pay. You can signup for a recurring coffee subscription and have their coffee beans sent straight to your front door. Choose from Original, Dunkin’ Decaf, French Vanilla, or Hazelnut. The price for a pound of beans is $6.39, which is a hell of a lot cheaper than Peet’s or Starbucks.

Get a subscription at Dunkin’ Donuts

Caffeinated Soap – $6.99

December 30, 2006

caffeinated soap

If that Venti cup of coffee from Starbucks doesn’t give you a strong enough jolt, then you might want to try showering with caffeinated soap. Each 4 oz. bar contains 200mg of caffeine per shower, which gives you about 12 showers per bar. The cost per shower comes out to around $0.60, which is more than twice as cheap as a small cup of coffee from Peets or Starbucks. Skeptical about the effectiveness of caffeine absorbing into your skin? This article and test might shed some light.

Caffeinated Soap available at Amazon.

Bodum Schiuma Turbo Milk Whip – $9.95

December 28, 2006

bodum schiuma milk whip

The Bodum Milk Whip creates the same type of foamy goodness in your coffee that you find at cafes. Make your own milk froth by heating the milk in a separate dish for 30 seconds and whipping it with the Milk Whip for a few more seconds. The Milk Whip has a plastic handle and a flexible steel wand, and operates on two AA batteries.

Available at Amazon

Not quite under $10, but Bodum also has great heat insulated cups for coffee. Get a set of 2 Pavina Thermo Glasses.